return {
	ACTIONFAIL =
	{
		SHAVE =
		{
			AWAKEBEEFALO = "I don't think she'd take kindly to that.",
			GENERIC = "That's unshavable.",
			NOBITS = "But it's already as smooth as a baby's rear end.",
		},
		STORE =
		{
			GENERIC = "It wouldn't fit.",
			NOTALLOWED = "That can't go in there.",
		},
	},
	ACTIONFAIL_GENERIC = "That didn't work.",
	ANNOUNCE_ADVENTUREFAIL = "I of all people should be able to do this.",
	ANNOUNCE_BEES = "Killing me won't bring back your honey!",
	ANNOUNCE_BOOMERANG = "Ow! Clumsy!",
	ANNOUNCE_CHARLIE = "Charlie? It's me! Maxwell!",
	ANNOUNCE_CHARLIE_ATTACK = "Ow! Charlie, that hurt!",
	ANNOUNCE_COLD = "My heart grows cold.",
	ANNOUNCE_CRAFTING_FAIL = "Er... I can't do that.",
	ANNOUNCE_DEERCLOPS = "I hear the deerclops.",
	ANNOUNCE_DUSK = "It'll be dark soon. Charlie will be waking up.",
	ANNOUNCE_EAT =
	{
		GENERIC = "(Gulp!)",
		PAINFUL = "Ow! That hurt my mouth!",
		SPOILED = "That was putrid.",
		STALE = "That was past its due-date.",
	},
	ANNOUNCE_ENTER_DARK = "It's dark! I can't see!",
	ANNOUNCE_ENTER_LIGHT = "The light is back.",
	ANNOUNCE_FREEDOM = "Freedom, at last!",
	ANNOUNCE_HOUNDS = "The hounds are growing restless.",
	ANNOUNCE_HUNGRY = "I am empty inside.",
	ANNOUNCE_HUNT_BEAST_NEARBY = "I smell dung and beast-sweat.",
	ANNOUNCE_HUNT_LOST_TRAIL = "Drat! It got away.",
	ANNOUNCE_INV_FULL = "My pockets are full.",
	ANNOUNCE_KNOCKEDOUT = "Ugh. My head hurts.",
	ANNOUNCE_MOSQUITOS = "What annoying little bugs.",
	ANNOUNCE_NODANGERSLEEP = "Not while there's danger afoot!",
	ANNOUNCE_NODAYSLEEP = "I can't sleep in the day.",
	ANNOUNCE_NOHUNGERSLEEP = "I'm too hungry. I can't sleep.",
	ANNOUNCE_NO_TRAP = "Weird. They forgot to set it.",
	ANNOUNCE_PECKED = "Have patience!",
	ANNOUNCE_THORNS = "I scratched my arms up doing that.",
	ANNOUNCE_TORCH_OUT = "Dang it, another torch down.",
	ANNOUNCE_TRAP_WENT_OFF = "Ack!",
	ANNOUNCE_WORMHOLE = "Yech. It's horrible in there.",
	BATTLECRY =
	{
		GENERIC = "To arms!",
		PIG = "Brains over brawn!",
		PREY = "You look tasty!",
	},
	COMBAT_QUIT =
	{
		GENERIC = "And stay away!",
		PIG = "Next time, pig!",
		PREY = "You're not worth my time!",
	},
	DESCRIBE =
	{
		MAXWELLPHONOGRAPH = "That accursed thing!",
		BOOMERANG = "Beats getting your hands dirty.",
		PIGGUARD = "Blech. Disgusting brute.",
		ABIGAIL = "Why won't these mortals just stay dead?",
		ADVENTURE_PORTAL = "So that's where I left that thing!",
		AMULET = "It channels the darkest energies of the universe.",
		ANIMAL_TRACK = "Some dumb beast passed through here.",
		ARMORGRASS = "Direct confrontation is quite gauche.",
		ARMORMARBLE = "That really isn't my style.",
		ARMORWOOD = "Ugh. I'm not one for such vulgar fisticuffs.",
		ARMOR_SANITY = "Time to wrap myself in nightmares.",
		ASH =
		{
			GENERIC = "A fine powder that smells of destruction.",
			REMAINS_EYE_BONE = "Don't worry. There will be more Chesters.",
			REMAINS_THINGIE = "There's a perfectly scientific explanation for that.",
		},
		AXE = "Sometimes the direct approach is best.",
		BABYBEEFALO = "They're even ugly as children.",
		BACKPACK = "I wish there were porters around here.",
		BACONEGGS = "My compliments to the chef!",
		BANDAGE = "Sticky and gooey and good for putting on booboos.",
		BASALT = "I made a rock so heavy that I can't lift it.",
		BEARDHAIR = "Hirsute.",
		BEDROLL_STRAW = "I don't like sleeping rough.",
		BEE =
		{
			GENERIC = "They work so hard, the fools.",
			HELD = "Now what do I do with it?",
		},
		BEEBOX =
		{
			FULLHONEY = "So tempting, but so full of bees.",
			GENERIC = "It holds my bees.",
			NOHONEY = "My bees are not working hard enough.",
			SOMEHONEY = "I should wait a bit longer.",
		},
		BEEFALO =
		{
			FOLLOWER = "Aw nuts, it's following me.",
			GENERIC = "Just look at that stupid beast.",
			NAKED = "Now it looks dumb AND pathetic.",
			SLEEPING = "It's only marginally less stupid when it's asleep.",
		},
		BEEFALOHAT = "How unfashionable.",
		BEEFALOWOOL = "It smells like a barn.",
		BEEHAT = "I'll wear it if I have to.",
		BEEHIVE = "Not the bees!",
		BEEMINE = "They wait so patiently.",
		BEEMINE_MAXWELL = "Maybe I shouldn't have put that there.",
		BERRIES = "Sigh. If I have to.",
		BERRIES_COOKED = "A little more refined, at least.",
		BERRYBUSH =
		{
			BARREN = "It needs manure.",
			GENERIC = "Reduced to eating berries. Sigh.",
			PICKED = "And now we wait.",
		},
		BIRDCAGE =
		{
			GENERIC = "You'll never get me behind bars again.",
			OCCUPIED = "I feel for ya, feathers.",
			SLEEPING = "You'll still be in there when you wake up.",
		},
		BIRDTRAP = "They keep falling for it!",
		BIRD_EGG = "I like to think of it as baby bird prison.",
		BIRD_EGG_COOKED = "Sunny side up.",
		BISHOP = "I'm especially proud of that piece.",
		BLOWDART_FIRE = "Just make sure to breathe out.",
		BLOWDART_SLEEP = "Call me Mr. Sandman.",
		BLUEGEM = "Blue brings ice.",
		BLUEPRINT = "I know all about that. I just forgot.",
		BLUE_CAP = "What could go wrong?",
		BLUE_CAP_COOKED = "Umami!",
		BLUE_MUSHROOM =
		{
			GENERIC = "The blue ones are good for something.",
			INGROUND = "It's not ready.",
			PICKED = "Another time, maybe?",
		},
		BOARDS = "Roughly hewn.",
		BOAT = "It's not going anywhere.",
		BONESTEW = "My compliments to the chef!",
		BUGNET = "Good for capturing defenseless insects.",
		BUSHHAT = "There's room in there for me.",
		BUTTER = "Some puns are irresistible.",
		BUTTERFLY =
		{
			GENERIC = "It's a flying flower.",
			HELD = "It would be a shame if someone ripped the wings off of it.",
		},
		BUTTERFLYMUFFIN = "My compliments to the chef!",
		BUTTERFLYWINGS = "Ha ha ha. I got him!",
		CAMPFIRE =
		{
			EMBERS = "I'm going to lose it.",
			GENERIC = "How comforting.",
			HIGH = "That will keep Charlie away for now.",
			LOW = "It needs fuel.",
			NORMAL = "Firey.",
			OUT = "That's not coming back.",
		},
		CANE = "It has pictures of fast things carved into it.",
		CARROT = "I'm not a fan of vegetables.",
		CARROT_COOKED = "A little more refined, at least.",
		CARROT_PLANTED = "How mundane.",
		CARROT_SEEDS = "This labour is beneath me.",
		CHARCOAL = "Nothing will steal my carbon!",
		CHESTER = "Annoying little monster. Has his uses, though.",
		CHESTER_EYEBONE =
		{
			GENERIC = "Stop looking at me!",
			WAITING = "What is it waiting for?",
		},
		COOKEDMANDRAKE = "It has lost a lot of its power.",
		COOKEDMEAT = "It smells less like barnyard, now.",
		COOKEDMONSTERMEAT = "I'll eat it if I have to.",
		COOKEDSMALLMEAT = "Well, at least it's not moving any more.",
		COOKPOT =
		{
			COOKING_LONG = "Wait for it...",
			COOKING_SHORT = "Here it comes!",
			DONE = "Finally, some quality grub.",
			EMPTY = "Just the thought makes my mouth water.",
		},
		CORN = "High in fructose.",
		CORN_COOKED = "A little more refined, at least.",
		CORN_SEEDS = "This labour is beneath me.",
		CROW =
		{
			GENERIC = "I don't know how they got here.",
			HELD = "Shhhh... My pretty.",
		},
		CUTGRASS = "The mundane stuff of the earth.",
		CUTREEDS = "I think I could build something useful from this.",
		CUTSTONE = "The building blocks of civilization.",
		DEERCLOPS = "Even I am afraid of that guy.",
		DEERCLOPS_EYEBALL = "Deerclops are myopic.",
		DEPLETED_GRASS =
		{
			GENERIC = "That's not doing anyone any good.",
		},
		DIRTPILE = "That looks out-of-place.",
		DIVININGROD =
		{
			COLD = "Mostly just background noise.",
			GENERIC = "I can use this to find my missing parts.",
			HOT = "It must be right under my nose!",
			WARM = "This is the right direction.",
			WARMER = "I should keep my eyes peeled.",
		},
		DIVININGRODBASE =
		{
			GENERIC = "It's the starting mechanism.",
			READY = "I need to insert the divining rod.",
			UNLOCKED = "Progress!",
		},
		DIVININGRODSTART = "The portals lead to the next rod.",
		DRAGONFRUIT = "Exotic and delicious.",
		DRAGONFRUIT_COOKED = "A little more refined, at least.",
		DRAGONFRUIT_SEEDS = "This labour is beneath me.",
		DRAGONPIE = "My compliments to the chef!",
		DRUMSTICK = "It tastes strangely like berries.",
		DRUMSTICK_COOKED = "Still tastes like berries.",
		DUG_BERRYBUSH = "Do I look like a gardener?",
		DUG_GRASS = "Do I look like a gardener?",
		DUG_MARSH_BUSH = "Do I look like a gardener?",
		DUG_SAPLING = "Do I look like a gardener?",
		DURIAN = "It's an acquired taste.",
		DURIAN_COOKED = "A little more refined, at least.",
		DURIAN_SEEDS = "This labour is beneath me.",
		EARMUFFSHAT = "They are at least warm.",
		EGGPLANT = "Just another boring plant.",
		EGGPLANT_COOKED = "A little more refined, at least.",
		EGGPLANT_SEEDS = "This labour is beneath me.",
		EVERGREEN =
		{
			BURNING = "Oops.",
			BURNT = "Ashes to ashes.",
			CHOPPED = "That's not about to grow back.",
			GENERIC = "I've heard them described as 'piney'.",
		},
		EVERGREEN_SPARSE =
		{
			BURNING = "Oops.",
			BURNT = "Dust to dust.",
			CHOPPED = "I put it out of it's misery.",
			GENERIC = "It looks sickly.",
		},
		FARMPLOT =
		{
			GENERIC = "Do I look like a farmer?",
			GROWING = "I have better things to do than watch plants grow.",
			NEEDSFERTILIZER = "It needs to be... refreshed.",
		},
		FEATHERHAT = "I will lure them in with my plumage.",
		FEATHER_CROW = "Black is the colour of sleep.",
		FEATHER_ROBIN = "Red is the colour of fire.",
		FEATHER_ROBIN_WINTER = "Grey is the colour of pain.",
		FEM_PUPPET = "Better her than me.",
		FIREFLIES =
		{
			GENERIC = "How pretty.",
			HELD = "I could squish them if I wanted to.",
		},
		FIREHOUND = "I put fire gems in there as a joke.",
		FIREPIT =
		{
			EMBERS = "I should attend to that.",
			GENERIC = "A fire pit.",
			HIGH = "A roaring fire.",
			LOW = "It's getting low.",
			NORMAL = "It's hot.",
			OUT = "It's gone cold.",
		},
		FIRESTAFF = "A basic enchantment, but effective.",
		FISH = "Fresh from the murky depths.",
		FISHINGROD = "I will eat for a lifetime.",
		FISHSTICKS = "My compliments to the chef!",
		FISHTACOS = "My compliments to the chef!",
		FISH_COOKED = "It still stinks.",
		FLINT = "Ow! I cut my finger!",
		FLOWER = "I am filled with the irrational urge to stomp upon it.",
		FLOWERHAT = "Definitely not my style.",
		FLOWER_EVIL = "I like that flower.",
		FOOTBALLHAT = "Now I am ready for the scrimmage.",
		FROG =
		{
			DEAD = "It croaked.",
			GENERIC = "It jumps and licks things.",
			SLEEPING = "It looks tired.",
		},
		FROGGLEBUNWICH = "My compliments to the chef!",
		FROGLEGS = "Muscular.",
		FROGLEGS_COOKED = "Stringy.",
		FRUITMEDLEY = "My compliments to the chef!",
		GEARS = "My pets! What has become of you?",
		GHOST = "It remembers me!",
		GOLDENAXE = "It gets sharper with every cut.",
		GOLDENPICKAXE = "This must be game logic.",
		GOLDENPITCHFORK = "I'm not sure this was a good investment.",
		GOLDENSHOVEL = "This shovel is worth a princely sum.",
		GOLDNUGGET = "This was important to me once.",
		GRASS =
		{
			BARREN = "Needs manure.",
			BURNING = "Oops.",
			GENERIC = "Tufty.",
			PICKED = "Already harvested.",
		},
		GREEN_CAP = "I should eat it.",
		GREEN_CAP_COOKED = "Salty!",
		GREEN_MUSHROOM =
		{
			GENERIC = "Green fungus.",
			INGROUND = "When do those ones come up?",
			PICKED = "Been there. Done that.",
		},
		GUNPOWDER = "Now this, I like.",
		HAMBAT = "An undignified weapon for a less refined time.",
		HAMMER = "It feels good to undo the work of others.",
		HEALINGSALVE = "Just a bit of venom and some dirty old ash.",
		HEATROCK =
		{
			COLD = "It's useless when cold.",
			GENERIC = "A pocketful of heat.",
			HOT = "It's almost too hot to hold.",
			WARM = "Comfortably warm.",
		},
		HOME = "There's no place like it.",
		HOMESIGN = "It says... nothing.",
		HONEY = "Sticky and sweet.",
		HONEYCOMB = "It's full of bee seeds.",
		HONEYHAM = "My compliments to the chef!",
		HONEYNUGGETS = "My compliments to the chef!",
		HORN = "Call forth the beasts!",
		HOUND = "They don't recognise me!",
		HOUNDBONE = "Hungry devils, aren't they?",
		HOUNDMOUND = "It's a tunnel down to the hound nests.",
		ICEBOX = "A little piece of winter in a box.",
		ICEHOUND = "I had a lot of surplus gems!",
		INSANITYROCK =
		{
			ACTIVE = "I can see its true nature now!",
			INACTIVE = "It only half-exists on this plane.",
		},
		JAMMYPRESERVES = "My compliments to the chef!",
		KABOBS = "My compliments to the chef!",
		KILLERBEE =
		{
			GENERIC = "What is that bee so angry about?",
			HELD = "I've caught a tiger by the tail.",
		},
		KNIGHT = "Such quality workmanship!",
		KOALEFANT_SUMMER = "A distant cousin of the beefalo.",
		KOALEFANT_WINTER = "It has its winter coat on.",
		KRAMPUS = "You won't catch me!",
		KRAMPUS_SACK = "It's really light.",
		LEIF = "Disgusting creature!",
		LIGHTNING_ROD =
		{
			CHARGED = "Energy flows through it.",
			GENERIC = "A little bit of protection.",
		},
		LITTLE_WALRUS = "A chip off the old block.",
		LIVINGLOG = "I like the noise they make when you burn them.",
		LOCKEDWES = "He displeased me.",
		LOG =
		{
			BURNING = "Well. That was fun while it lasted.",
			GENERIC = "It's a piece of wood. What more is there to say?",
		},
		MALE_PUPPET = "Better him than me.",
		MANDRAKE =
		{
			DEAD = "My ears are still ringing.",
			GENERIC = "Oh shut UP, will you?",
			PICKED = "What a disturbing root.",
		},
		MANDRAKESOUP = "My compliments to the chef!",
		MANDRAKE_COOKED = "Looks like I got the last meep.",
		MARBLE = "It's strong stuff.",
		MARBLEPILLAR = "I've always wondered who built those.",
		MARBLETREE = "How whimsical.",
		MARSH_BUSH =
		{
			BURNING = "I should ask it questions.",
			GENERIC = "It's twisted and thorny, just like me!",
			PICKED = "That was painful.",
		},
		MARSH_PLANT = "What a generic little plant.",
		MARSH_TREE =
		{
			BURNING = "There it goes.",
			BURNT = "It's no use to anyone now.",
			CHOPPED = "Tree 0, Maxwell 1.",
			GENERIC = "A tree with a foul demeanor.",
		},
		MAXWELL = "Looking good!",
		MAXWELLHEAD = "Hey, handsome.",
		MAXWELLLOCK = "It keeps the master in the chair.",
		MAXWELLTHRONE = "It's less painful than it looks. Barely.",
		MEAT = "I'm used to much finer fare.",
		MEATBALLS = "My compliments to the chef!",
		MEATRACK =
		{
			DONE = "Like the desert.",
			DRYING = "Still moist.",
			GENERIC = "It can dry meats so that they last longer.",
		},
		MEAT_DRIED = "My teeth are getting too old for this.",
		MERM = "They were here when I got here.",
		MERMHEAD = "The eyes follow you around.",
		MERMHOUSE = "They copied the pigs, but they're even less intelligent.",
		MINERHAT = "Eventually the firefly will starve.",
		MONSTERLASAGNA = "My compliments to the chef!",
		MONSTERMEAT = "How revolting.",
		MONSTERMEAT_DRIED = "My teeth are getting too old for this.",
		MOSQUITO =
		{
			GENERIC = "Bloody blood sucking blood suckers.",
			HELD = "I got him.",
		},
		MOUND =
		{
			DUG = "Already got that one.",
			GENERIC = "What lies beneath?",
		},
		NIGHTLIGHT = "It burns with a beautiful glow.",
		NIGHTMAREFUEL = "Ahhh. Refreshing.",
		NIGHTSWORD = "Snicker-snack!",
		NITRE = "One third of the way there...",
		ONEMANBAND = "It has a good beat and you can dance to it.",
		PANDORASCHEST = "It's a trap.",
		PANFLUTE = "I'm going to sing a song of madness.",
		PAPYRUS = "A blank canvas.",
		PENGUIN = "Nice tux.",
		PERD = "It is addicted to fermented berries.",
		PEROGIES = "My compliments to the chef!",
		PETALS = "Like so much confetti.",
		PETALS_EVIL = "It's dripping with nightmare essence.",
		PICKAXE = "Everybody loves a little mining.",
		PIGGYBACK = "Oh that's just demeaning.",
		PIGHEAD = "Er... charming.",
		PIGHOUSE =
		{
			FULL = "I'd go inside too, if I was him.",
			GENERIC = "That's like their only trick.",
			LIGHTSOUT = "I'll huff and I'll puff!",
		},
		PIGKING = "That's a man with his priorities in order!",
		PIGMAN =
		{
			DEAD = "I dub thee 'Bacon'.",
			FOLLOWER = "He's simple but he's mine.",
			GENERIC = "What a slobbering fool.",
			GUARD = "They're starting to organize.",
			WEREPIG = "That one's gone feral.",
		},
		PIGSKIN = "It was him or me.",
		PIGTENT = "That's just nasty.",
		PIGTORCH = "Great. Now they have fire.",
		PINECONE = "A more outdoorsy type might be able to make something of this.",
		PITCHFORK = "The tool of choice for perfectionists.",
		PLANT_NORMAL =
		{
			GENERIC = "That is a generic plant.",
			GROWING = "It's growing.",
			READY = "It's ready.",
		},
		POMEGRANATE = "Usually I'd get someone to seed this for me.",
		POMEGRANATE_COOKED = "A little more refined, at least.",
		POMEGRANATE_SEEDS = "This labour is beneath me.",
		POND = "I can see my face reflected off the top.",
		POOP = "It's the way of all mortal life.",
		PUMPKIN = "Hallowe'en was always my favourite.",
		PUMPKINCOOKIE = "My compliments to the chef!",
		PUMPKIN_COOKED = "A little more refined, at least.",
		PUMPKIN_LANTERN = "Why hello, Mr. Crane.",
		PUMPKIN_SEEDS = "This labour is beneath me.",
		PURPLEGEM = "Purple brings great power.",
		RABBIT =
		{
			GENERIC = "I've been here too long - it actually looks tasty.",
			HELD = "Don't worry, rabbit. Everything is under control.",
		},
		RABBITHOLE = "There's a world going on under there.",
		RAINOMETER = "I could also just look up to learn the same thing.",
		RATATOUILLE = "My compliments to the chef!",
		RAZOR = "If only the world had a single neck.",
		REDGEM = "Red brings fire.",
		RED_CAP = "I forget what this one does.",
		RED_CAP_COOKED = "Kind of bitter.",
		RED_MUSHROOM =
		{
			GENERIC = "It's a red mushroom.",
			INGROUND = "It'll have to come back for it.",
			PICKED = "It's all used up.",
		},
		REEDS =
		{
			BURNING = "Oops.",
			GENERIC = "There's wind in them there willows.",
			PICKED = "No more tubes.",
		},
		RESEARCHLAB = "I can't believe I forgot how to build those things.",
		RESEARCHLAB2 = "It unlocks recipes of middling utility.",
		RESEARCHLAB3 = "This is where I do my own personal research.",
		RESURRECTIONSTATUE = "I'm not above using this.",
		RESURRECTIONSTONE = "There's a story behind that...",
		ROBIN =
		{
			GENERIC = "The redbird comes from the fire lands.",
			HELD = "Silence, bird!",
		},
		ROBIN_WINTER =
		{
			GENERIC = "I don't recognise that one.",
			HELD = "Quiet, you.",
		},
		ROBOT_PUPPET = "Better it than me.",
		ROCK = "It's a rock.",
		ROCKS = "Hmmm. Now what do I do with them?",
		ROPE = "You'd think this would have more uses.",
		ROTTENEGG = "Disgusting. Why am I carrying this around?",
		SANITYROCK =
		{
			ACTIVE = "I can see its true nature now!",
			INACTIVE = "There are two ways to see that obstacle.",
		},
		SAPLING =
		{
			BURNING = "Oops.",
			GENERIC = "A supple, woody stem.",
			PICKED = "It'll grow back.",
		},
		SEEDS = "I suppose these won't plant themselves.",
		SEEDS_COOKED = "I broiled the life out of 'em.",
		SEWING_KIT = "A fine and noble endeavour.",
		SHOVEL = "This is some real advanced technology.",
		SILK = "Despite it's origin, it could make some fine garments.",
		SKELETON = "Ha! I remember that one.",
		SKULLCHEST = "That's one snazzy chest.",
		SMALLBIRD =
		{
			GENERIC = "What!? What do you want?",
			HUNGRY = "You want some food?",
			STARVING = "He's so hungry!",
		},
		SMALLMEAT = "This is barely a mouthful.",
		SMALLMEAT_DRIED = "My teeth are getting too old for this.",
		SPEAR = "It's a spear. Yup.",
		SPIDER =
		{
			DEAD = "Splat.",
			GENERIC = "It's mostly digestive system.",
			SLEEPING = "Shhhh! It will wake up hungry.",
		},
		SPIDERDEN = "They grow big here.",
		SPIDEREGGSACK = "Squishy.",
		SPIDERGLAND = "Distasteful.",
		SPIDERHAT = "Spiders have such malleable wills.",
		SPIDERQUEEN = "Maybe I'll just get out of her way.",
		SPIDER_WARRIOR =
		{
			DEAD = "Splat.",
			GENERIC = "It's a specialized form.",
			SLEEPING = "I don't want to wake that one.",
		},
		SPOILED_FOOD = "That used to be food until I wasted it.",
		STATUEHARP = "Not my best work.",
		STATUEMAXWELL = "Now that's a fine statue.",
		STINGER = "It's dripping with venom.",
		STRAWHAT = "A hat fit for a peasant.",
		STUFFEDEGGPLANT = "My compliments to the chef!",
		SUNKBOAT = "That's not how you use a boat!",
		TAFFY = "My compliments to the chef!",
		TALLBIRD = "These were a failed experiment.",
		TALLBIRDEGG = "Tallbirds are territorial because of these things.",
		TALLBIRDEGG_COOKED = "It tastes like broken dreams.",
		TALLBIRDEGG_CRACKED =
		{
			COLD = "It's getting tepid.",
			GENERIC = "We've got a live one here.",
			HOT = "Hot enough for ya?",
			LONG = "It's going to be a while.",
			SHORT = "Any moment now...",
		},
		TALLBIRDNEST =
		{
			GENERIC = "Well. That's tempting.",
			PICKED = "It's made of dirty beefalo hair.",
		},
		TEENBIRD =
		{
			GENERIC = "It's less cute now that it's grown up.",
			HUNGRY = "They sure do eat a lot.",
			STARVING = "A hungry beast is a dangerous beast.",
		},
		TELEPORTATO_BASE =
		{
			ACTIVE = "It's alive!",
			GENERIC = "My beautiful machine is in pieces!",
			LOCKED = "Now to turn it on.",
			PARTIAL = "It is still incomplete.",
		},
		TELEPORTATO_BOX = "This is a box full of sadness and woe.",
		TELEPORTATO_CRANK = "This is used to agitate the humours.",
		TELEPORTATO_POTATO = "The gears in here are so small they turn the fabric of reality.",
		TELEPORTATO_RING = "This is the quantum field guard band.",
		TENT = "That's a bit rustic for my taste.",
		TENTACLE = "I'm glad the rest of it is still down there.",
		TENTACLESPIKE = "Ugh. This is so revolting.",
		TENTACLESPOTS = "This is how they reproduce.",
		TOPHAT = "Some fine haberdashery.",
		TORCH = "It keeps Charlie at bay.",
		TRAP = "Only the dumbest animals will fall for this.",
		TRAP_TEETH = "This one packs a whallop.",
		TRAP_TEETH_MAXWELL = "I'm sure I had my reasons when I placed this.",
		TREASURECHEST = "A place to store loot.",
		TREASURECHEST_TRAP = "Hmmm. Looks suspicious.",
		TREECLUMP = "I can't get through there.",
		TRINKET_1 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_10 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_11 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_12 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_2 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_3 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_4 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_5 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_6 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_7 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_8 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRINKET_9 = "This was important to someone once.",
		TRUNKVEST_SUMMER = "It's more of a fall vest.",
		TRUNKVEST_WINTER = "It's so hard to look fashionable in the winter.",
		TRUNK_COOKED = "At least the mucus burned off.",
		TRUNK_SUMMER = "Full of summer mucus.",
		TRUNK_WINTER = "The trunk thickens in the winter to hold more mucus.",
		TURF_CARPETFLOOR = "That's a quality, high-pile carpet sample!",
		TURF_CHECKERFLOOR = "That's my natural habitat.",
		TURF_DIRT = "Dusty.",
		TURF_FOREST = "Smells like mud.",
		TURF_GRASS = "Scratchy.",
		TURF_MARSH = "It's dripping all over.",
		TURF_ROAD = "At least this one is useful.",
		TURF_ROCKY = "Kinda rough.",
		TURF_SAVANNA = "Dirty.",
		TURF_WOODFLOOR = "I prefer hardwoods.",
		TURKEYDINNER = "How festive.",
		TWIGS = "Common, but useful.",
		UMBRELLA = "It's crooked!",
		WAFFLES = "My compliments to the chef!",
		WALL_HAY = "It's a tinderbox.",
		WALL_HAY_ITEM = "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yup.",
		WALL_STONE = "This will keep the riff-raff out.",
		WALL_STONE_ITEM = "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yup.",
		WALL_WOOD = "Moderately tough, but flammable.",
		WALL_WOOD_ITEM = "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yup.",
		WALRUS = "Don't you recognise me?",
		WALRUSHAT = "Made in Scotland.",
		WALRUS_CAMP =
		{
			EMPTY = "I best not linger when winter comes.",
			GENERIC = "The Walrusser can't be far.",
		},
		WALRUS_TUSK = "I'll put this to better use.",
		WASPHIVE = "That looks dangerous.",
		WETGOOP = "My compliments to the chef!",
		WINTERHAT = "How disappointingly rustic.",
		WINTEROMETER = "Not the most useful invention, is it?",
		WORMHOLE =
		{
			GENERIC = "It's worse knowing what the other part looks like.",
			OPEN = "I can assure you that it smells worse than it looks.",
		},
		WORMHOLE_LIMITED = "It looks ill.",
	},
	DESCRIBE_GENERIC = "You tell me.",
	DESCRIBE_TOODARK = "I can't see in the dark!",
	EAT_FOOD =
	{
		TALLBIRDEGG_CRACKED = "That tastes about as good as you'd expect.",
	},
}